When there is darkness, light can follow
by catnip851
Summary: Draco Malfoy is given another chance, will he take it? Set at the end of 6th year. Rated M for possible triggers.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hi everyone, so I say it in the summary of the story but there are trigger warnings. Mainly for self-harm and possibly suicide or attempts, and also torture. This isn't going to be in every chapter but I feel the need to put a note up in the beginning so that you all don't get invested in this story and then are unable to read it because of triggers. There is a reason this is rated M. Now, I hope you all enjoy this story. My friend and I worked really hard on it and I'm proud of it. I'm going to try and upload a chapter once a week.

-Catnip851

Quiet sobs wrack Draco's body, the tears flowing freely down his face. He feels like he hasn't slept in a thousand years, his limbs heavy with shame and sorrow. As he sits atop the clock tower and looks down, his hands clutch one of the posts as the wind moves his hair. His hands clench around the railing of the tower, knowing in his heart that this could very well be the last time he is ever here. After tonight – after what he has allowed to happen – this is the end of Hogwarts as he knows it. This is the end of his life as he knows it. This is the beginning of war. Because of him.

"Alyssa was right," Draco whispers, wondering if he would survive a fall from up here, remembering. "She was right... I should have –" his heart jumps into his throat and he cannot finish the thought, instead torn by his last memory of the girl he loves.

_5 Months Ago_

"_Draco, this isn't a good idea. I don't care what You-Know-Who Threatened you with. You can't kill Dumbledore," Alyssa whispered to him, one late winter night._

_Draco shivered, the December air causing him to feel terribly cold despite his warm cloak. The clock tower was beautiful then, too, with thousands of tiny pinpricks of light showering them like a midnight sun, and the tolling of the timekeeper lifting life setting life into a gentle rhythm. But the tower offered no protection against the bitter winter wind. He smiled shallowly at Alyssa. "I don't have a choice. He might not kill my father, but he _would_ kill my mother. He would... he would kill you..." He trailed off for a moment, memorizing her face with his eyes. "I love you both so much. I can't let any harm come to you. To either of you." _

_Draco wrapped his arms around Alyssa, and she melted into the warmth of them. In this moment, he remembers wondering if she might let him forget his task – if only for a moment. If she had, would things have been different? But instead, Alyssa sighed, her lips curved slightly downwards. _

"_Couldn't you just let Snape do it? I know, honor and loyalty and everything, but... Draco, he made the Unbreakable Vow."_

_Draco turned away from her, his heart heavy as he shook his head. "I wish I could. You know how much I wish–"_

_Suddenly, Alyssa perked up, her eyes sharpening into the darkness of the castle at night. _

_Draco looked down at her, his ears ringing with silence. "What?" He asks. Alyssa put a finger to her mouth, silently telling Draco to be quiet, as she listened intently._

_Draco watched her with admiration. Alyssa had always been able to hear things before anyone else. Footsteps, talking, the first sign of birds chirping in the morning, even an animal climbing up the trees at night. Whenever she listened, her head would tilt to the side, as if one ear could hear better than the other. Her dark hair hung like a curtain and her grey eyes were curious and stormy. Finally, Draco heard three pairs of footsteps at least a minute after Alyssa did. His body grew tense, and he drew his wand as the noises grew closer and ever more daunting. He could feel the blood coursing through his veins, and he instinctively shielded his girlfriend. But Alyssa let out a nearly silent scoff and moved in front of him just as Potter, Weasley and Granger came into view. They jumped when they spotted Draco and Alyssa, both in an offensive stance. _

"_Bloody hell, what are you two doing here?" Weasley questioned. _

"_I should ask you three the same question, Weasley." Snapped Draco. Alyssa puts her hand on his arm, silently willing him to take the high road. "It's after hours." _

"_We were just out for an evening walk." Potter answered, haughtily as always. "What's your excuse? Snogging in the corridors?" He eyed Alyssa. "With your new Witch of the Week, I see." Weasley smirked at this._

_Draco let out a growl and raised his wand at the green-eyed boy, intending with every inch of his being to strike Potter down. But Alyssa placed a soft, firm hand on his arm and guided in back to his side. _

"_Actually, we thought we'd get some fresh air. Clear our heads," She answered, her head held high._

"_You're Inkwood, aren't you?" Granger ventured, slightly more friendly than her two companions. "Alyssa, right?" _

_Alyssa nodded her confirmation coolly, taking the other girl in. "You're a sixth year like us," the brown-haired witch continued. "I don't think we've... really met." _

"_Hermione!" Ron scowled, his face grim as he pulled her back towards him. "Don't try and play nice with Malfoy's new toy. She's just like the rest of them."_

"_SHUT UP!" Draco bellowed, his hand flying to his wand. "You dirty mudbloods don't belong anywhere near us!" His eyes were wild, his hands shaking, but his grip on his wand strong as iron. His vision seemed to go blurry at this moment, and the next thing he remembers is Alyssa holding him as he collapses into her grip, the trio long gone._

"_I hate them–" he managed through gritted teeth. "This is why– this is why I have to do this! Because if I don't – it's going to be people like them, in charge. Blood traitors and dirty mudbloods – you know I can't let that happen, Alyssa. You know it." _

_He cupped her face in his hands, but she didn't look at him. How could he have known this would be the last time he would hold her this way? "I have to do this," He repeated. _

_She shook her head out of his grip, pushed away from him. "I know," She said, bitterly, as she walked out of his life. "And so do I." _

Suddenly, the stairs behind Draco creek, pulling him out of his trance and back into wartorn reality. He stands awkwardly, knees weak and wobbly, heart shattered, and pulls out his wand with shaking hands.

"Who – who's there?" Draco questions to the silence. "I've – I've got my wand drawn!"

There are the sounds of footsteps against wood, and Draco attempts to steel himself for an encounter with Bellatrix or Mad-Eye Moody – and for the first time in his life, he has no idea which would be preferable.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Mr. Malfoy," a sturdy and strangely familiar voice calls from around the corner. "I'm coming over with my wand up."

Draco has to blink a few times to understand and recognize the man standing in front of him. Tattered robes, scarred face, and yet – an effervescent, knowing smile. "Professor Lupin?" The young wizard gaggles at his former teacher, who seems not to have aged a day. "How did you –"

"Oh, Draco," Lupin nods kindly. "The Order has friends, too, you know. A little bird told us we might find you here." He glances up at the sky for a moment, his gaze soft. "This was one of our favourite places, when we were young. James Potter used to take Lily up here, you know. I've heard it's quite – the destination."

Draco swallows hard, his throat closing slightly on itself. His fingers tighten on his wand as he tries desperately not to think of the woman he lost before the war even began. "You'd better get out of here, halfbreed. Don't think I won't kill you just like –"

"Just like you tried to kill Dumbledore?" Lupin shakes his head, as if trying to rid himself of an awful dream – a motion Draco has become all too accustomed to in the past few months. "We – we lost a good man, tonight. One of the best." Lupin's words are punctuated by heaving breaths, as he tries not to cry. "And as much as I would like to hex you off of this tower for the part you played in it –" with a power that Draco has never seen from the soft-spoken professor, Lupin raises his wand, a fire in his green eyes. But then, just as suddenly, it is gone, replaced with pain. "As it would seem, you have a friend in the Order who has asked – insisted – that we give you a second chance."

Draco shakes his head, uncomprehendingly. "Don't be stupid, _Professor_. You know where my allegiances lie. You all do!"

Lupin gives him a wry smile. "I suspected you would say as much. Well, assuming that you don't kill me on my way back, I'll tell her you said that."

And it's as if all the air has been sucked from the world. "Her." Draco turns the word over in his mouth, heart racing, wand lowering ever-so-slightly. It couldn't be. Alyssa had moved on – literally. After that night, he hadn't seen her again – Draco had assumed her parents had pulled her from school, with everything happening. She had begged him to leave the Death Eaters, begged him to see reason, and when he hadn't – it hurt too much to think about.

"What – what have you done to her?" He asks, voice shaking more than he would ever like to admit. "What have you done?"

"Done?" Lupin raises an eyebrow. "She came to us. Insisted that we – she said there was still good in you. Clearly, she mustn't have known about tonight."

Draco's heart twinged painfully. So Alyssa had kept his secret. Why? It could have been a powerful bartering chip in earning the Order's protection – but, had she told them, they never would have considered trying to get him to jump ship. _She's protecting me,_ he realized, his breath quickening. _Alyssa's still looking out for me, even after all this time. _

And maybe it was the wind, or the ringing in his ears from the battle below them, but Draco could have sworn he heard her whisper, "Always."

So he swallowed his pride and took a deep breath. "Okay," he said to Lupin. "Take me to the Order."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Hi hi, sorry this is late being uploaded. This week has been extremely busy. I hope you guys like the chapter! I would love to hear your thoughts!

-Catnip851

Lupin and Draco arrive by portkey, flying out of the air. Lupin lands gracefully on his feet but Draco falls and hits the ground hard.

"Ow," groans Draco. Lupin looks down at Draco with a slight, forced smile.

"Seems like a little bit of karma for your plan," Lupin shakes his head with an expression Draco knows of well. Disgust.

"Shut up, halfbreed. I could still curse you all the way back to Hogwarts," Draco growls, getting to his feet. .

"Not in our house, Mr. Malfoy."

Molly Weasley speaks up, looking down at Draco, hands on her hips. He stands up quickly, wiping the dirt off his clothes, trying to suppress his shudder. Halfbreeds, and now blood-traitors. Next, he'll be marrying a Mudblood! "It took a lot to convince us to take you here," Mrs. Weasley reminds him, her voice firm. "Don't make us regret it."

Draco scowls at the plump redhead. "I'm only here for one reason, and it isn't to play nice with dirty blood-traitors and halfbreeds." His hand tightens around his wand. "Where is Alyssa?"

Mrs. Weasley's eyes narrow into cat-like slits. "Now, see here, young man," She begins, her jaw clenched, fist shaking in his direction. "While you are under my roof, you will treat myself and the rest of the Order with the respect they deserve!" She shakes her head violently and takes a few menacing steps towards Draco. Unwillingly, he finds himself backpedaling furiously, his heart racing, as his eyes widen. Somehow, this short, jolly-seeming woman has become at least three times scarier than his father and his aunt combined has ever been. "Do you understand me?"

Draco nods, diverting his eyes from hers with shame. "Y–yes, ma'am."

"That's more like it," Mrs. Weasley growls, turning towards the house.

Draco lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in as she turns away, to which Lupin shakes his head and raises one eyebrow. "She packs a bite. We've all learned how not to get on her bad side. You, however..." Lupin pauses, taking Draco in. "You've taunted her son and Harry for six years. Doesn't look like you're getting on her good side any time soon. I'd wish you good luck, but honestly I'm hoping she kicks you out, after all you've done."

He follows Molly into the decrepit house, hands shoved deep into his tattered robe pockets, back hunched with sorrow, leaving Draco alone with his thoughts.

_Stupid half-breed. Always had it out for me. _He rubs his hands against his legs, a nervous habit he's picked up in the last year-and-a-half. _Of course they see me as the bad guy. They don't get it. They never will. _He thinks bitterly, hands rubbing against his thighs faster and faster.

"Hey, Professor!" Draco calls after Lupin, although he knows no one can hear him. "What would you have done? What the fuck would you have done? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

His fast moving hands are wet, and suddenly Draco realizes he is crying, curled up in the dirt. His mind spirals into a blackness that envelopes his world, a blackness that is oh-so-familiar. But despite this, every time he is shocked by how dark and deep and lonely he is. Every single time, Draco feels the cold knock the air out of his lungs, until he is gasping for air that doesn't exist – a pathetic fish out of water. And half of his heart hopes that someone, anyone, will come to get him. Someone will come and hold him as he rocks himself into dust.

But no one does. No one ever has. Not since her.

_9 Months Ago_

_He was dying. _

_That was the only plausible explanation. _

_Sitting there, in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, heart beating wildly, unable to breathe – Potter must've slipped him poison somehow – how and when, he didn't know. His brain was too scattered to function, thoughts circling into themselves, breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. And suddenly he focuses in on the worst thought of all – _I'm going to die here. Alone. _And despite that. _No one is going to care.

_And it's in this moment Draco realized how little impact – good or bad – he has made on the world. When he takes his last breath, there will be nothing to remember him by. And eventually, the memory of him will slip into oblivion. Just another one of his many failures in his pathetic excuse of a life. And so maybe this is better. Gasping for air, a flurry of emotion, heart pounding in his ears, eyes slipping in and out of focus – if this is it, at least he'll never fail anyone ever again._

_So he closed his eyes, body shaking uncontrollably, and accepted his death. _

_And then a voice pulls him from the edge of the cliff._

"_Hello?" _

_His eyes snapped open, a figure swimming into view. _

"_Oh my god! Are you – are you okay?"_

_She reached out to touch him, and he slipped out of her grasp. "Don't – don't touch me!" Draco snapped, voice shaking. "Get away from me!"_

_The dark-haired girl blinked at him for a long moment, then she sat down a few feet away from him._

"_What are you doing? I told you to – to leave me alone!" _

"_I know," the girl said, tucking her legs underneath her slim figure. "But I don't think that's really what you want, Draco." _

_Draco slid his back up against the wall of the bathroom, tile cool against his skin, and eyed her warily. "How do you – who are you?"_

"_Alyssa Inkwood. I'm in your year." Draco placed a shaky hand against his chest, trying to find the words to respond to her, but he couldn't seem to connect his brain to his mouth, so it hung open, lamely. _

_Alyssa inched a little closer to him. "You should try taking deep breaths. I know it sounds impossible – it'll help, I promise."_

_Draco tried to muster the energy to scowl at her suggestion, but found he had nothing left. _

_So he breathed. In for three beats, out for three beats. _

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

_His heartbeat slowed, lungs filling with sweet air, and his hands steadied himself against the ground._

"_I wouldn't stand," Alyssa said. Draco looked at her in surprise – she hadn't left. "You'll be a bit light-headed."_

_He didn't want to talk to her, he didn't want to even look at her, but his curiosity got the best of him. "What – happened to me?" _

_Alyssa shrugged, tucking her long, braided-hair behind her. "Sometimes when... stress gets too high – I guess we just freak out. It happens to me, too."_

"_It – does?"_

_She nodded absently, her mind elsewhere. "People – kind of freak me out." Alyssa lowered her eyes, embarrassed, suddenly. "I spend a lot of time here. It's... just easier. A lot of people don't even know me."_

"_That sounds lonely," Draco murmured, suddenly exhausted._

_Alyssa seemed to consider him carefully. "It's not so bad," she said slowly. "It means I don't have a gaggle of people around me all the time who aren't there when I really need them." _

_Draco scoffed. "I don't have that issue either."_

_Alyssa glanced around the empty bathroom, then back at Draco, who nervously rubbed his hands across his thighs, finding it surprisingly comforting. _

"_Yeah," She said, finally. There was a moment of silence between them, and Draco's palms skidded over his legs, reveling in the friction it caused. _

"_So it's true," Alyssa whispered, her eyes widening at his left forearm, where the sleeve had ridden up slightly. "You really are... a Death Eater."_

_Draco shoved the sleeve back down his arm, covering up the mark. "No, I just–" he began lamely, then realized there was no convincing her. He lowered his head. "Yeah."_

"_Can I see it?" _

_Draco looked up, his eyebrows furrowing. "I – what?"_

_She took a deep breath, and her eyes met his – grey against grey, storm clashing with storm – a matched set. "Can I see it? The Mark."_

_Lost in her curious eyes, Draco pulled up his left sleeve. _

"_Wow."_

"_Yeah."_

"_So – it's there forever?"_

_Draco frowned. "Of course. When you choose to join – you join forever."_

"_That's... kind of... intense." Alyssa chewed on her bottom lip. "I mean, what if you change your mind?"_

_Draco stood up suddenly, his limbs full of pins and needles. "You _don't _change your mind," he hissed at her. "You can't. This is who I am – you can't just _decide _you don't _want _it."_

_Alyssa paused for a moment, taking him in. "That sounds a lot less like a choice and a lot more like a compulsion."_

"_So what?" Draco snapped back. He rolled his sleeve back down over the Mark, shaking his head vehemently. "I wouldn't expect _you _to understand." _

_He strode past her, intent on leaving that damn bathroom and never returning – until he felt a hand catch his arm. _

"_Maybe you can help me understand," Alyssa insisted, her stormy eyes swirling. As if burned by their contact, Alyssa dropped her hand to her side and ducked her gaze. "I – I know it's none of my business, but... you don't seem... happy. With your... 'choice'." She jerked her head towards his arm, and he rubbed it self-consciously. _

_And though his first instinct was to leave, something made Draco reconsider reaching for the door. Maybe it was the way she helped him calm down, maybe it was her insistence on understanding, maybe it was just her eyes – but Alyssa had somehow burrowed her way past his extensive defences like no one else could. _

_And so he stayed._

The thought of Alyssa and the way she helped him that night pulls Draco from his body enough to focus on his breathing. Draco stares up at the seemily broken house, that towers down over him. _How could anyone live in a mess like this? It looks like it could fall over any second. _Draco glares at the house, feeling weak from his episode. He stays, sitting on the ground moping in the dark, but it's the thought that Alyssa was sitting somewhere inside that house that caused Draco to hastily stand up. Intending to find his way to Alyssa. He stumbles slightly, his feet numb from sitting on the ground for such a long time. But once he gets inside the messy, broken house he finds his way blocked by none other than Professor The Filthy Werewolf Lupin, Molly Weasley and one of the Weasley's seven kids. They all stare at him. He glares at them.

"I just want to see Alyssa." Draco says, voice bitter, hands curled in fists at his sides.

"She doesn't want to see you. You'll have to wait till she's ready." Mrs. Weasley responds, looking nervous as she focuses on knitting something green. _What did she have to be nervous about? _Draco glares at her.

"Why so nervous?" Draco snarled. "What are you hiding?" He asks.

"Malfoy. You are here and we are all you've got, so I would suggest not ruining your chances." Mrs. Weasley says with a quiet warning. Draco knew then to back off, all he wanted was to see Alyssa, that's the only reason he was there.

"I am sorry." Draco backtracks. "I...I am worried about her. I just want to speak with her." He explains, slumping his shoulders. Mrs. Weasley gives what is meant as a comforting smile.

"Well Draco, it's late. I think what you need is sleep." She says, putting her knitting down and motioning him forward. "Let's get you settled. It's been a long night." Draco just nods, knowing that fighting to see her would be a losing battle. Mrs. Weasley takes him up two flights of stairs and to a small room that contains two beds.

"This will be your room for now." Draco puts his trunk down at the end of one of the beds, looking around. The room was falling apart like much of the house, the walls, which are painted a soft blue have the paint peeling off, the wooden floor looks like someone dropped a balloon filled with paint on it. Different colors and stains splattered every which way.

"If you need anything just come and find someone. Sleep well." With that Mrs. Weasley turns and leaves the room, shutting the door behind her with a soft bang. Draco sits down on the surprisingly soft bed with a sigh, sleepiness suddenly rushing over him. Not caring much about changing, Draco kicks off his shoes and curls up under the heavy blankets feeling warm and cared for, for the first time in two years.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: I am so sorry this took so long to upload. My life has been extremely stressful and shitty the past two weeks and I just haven't had the time to sit down and finish writing and editing. I really hope everyone likes this chapter! Anyways, let me know what you think.

-Catnip851

Draco is woken the next day by sun streaming into the window next to his bed. He groans, his body sore from the night before. He listens, trying to figure out if anyone is awake, but the house is utterly quiet except for a pair of footsteps and the sounds of pans being set down. _Maybe someone is making breakfast? _Draco's stomach rumbles in response to his thought, and he exhales in annoyance. _Why would I want to eat their food? They probably poisoned it so that they can get rid of me. _Draco sighs bitterly, making his way slowly out of bed in search of clothes.

Draco looks around the room again, it was even messier in the morning light than it was last night. "Why would anyone let their room get this messy?" Draco questions aloud while going through his trunk to find clean clothes.

Once Draco located his clothes he begins to slowly make his way downstairs. The stairs, like the house are dangerous and dated - Paint peeling off the walls, floors with scratches on them from years of use. _This is worse than them living in one room, _Draco scowls, _how does this house not bother anyone? _Draco continues working his way downstairs but stops when he hears voices.

"Is there anything I can help with, Mrs. Weasley?" Alyssa's voice asks, soft and polite. Draco's heart skips a beat – he hasn't heard her voice for so long, hasn't seen her for so long.

"That's okay Alyssa, thank you. You should rest. I know how exhausting it can be." Mrs. Weasley responds in a kind voice. Confusion muddles Draco's mind. _What is so exhausting? _Draco walks into the kitchen before anymore words are exchanged between the two women. Although the kitchen was small almost every inch of the counter was filled with something: bookshelves full of cook books; pots and pans hanging from the ceiling; an odd clock hanging from one wall. Mismatched chairs pushed up to a scratched brown table, all expect for one, which contained Alyssa.

8 months ago

"_Do you want kids, Draco?" Alyssa asked one fall night. Draco was holding her, the pair of them wrapped in blankets in Draco's dorm. "Yeah." Draco yawns. "I need to have them to uphold my bloodline." He answered stroking Alyssa's bare shoulder. A look of frustration and confusion crosses over Alyssa's face. "What?" He asked, confused. Alyssa sits up and turns to him. _

"_Well, don't you want to have kids because you actually want them? Not just for show and bloodline but because you actually want kids?" She asked, staring at him with curiosity. Draco smiled at her._

"_I guess I never really thought of it that way, just wanting them. It's been drilled into me from the start that I had to have kids to keep the pure-blood line. I mean, you know how it is, being from a pure-blood family." Draco answered. Alyssa shifts uncomfortably. _

"_My parents raised me to believe that you have kids out of love. That's why I'm the oldest of eight children." Alyssa explains. _

"_I guess having kids, just because I want to... Well that's something I would like too." He answered, smiling at her from his place against the pillows. "Now come lay back down." Draco pulls Alyssa down to him, wrapping his arms around her. Alyssa smiles at him when he wraps his arms around her. _

" _I want four kids." Alyssa says, resting her head on Draco's shoulder. _

"_That's a lot." Draco answered. _

"_I come from a big family. I want to make it even bigger." Draco smiles at her. _

"_I want a big family too. I want my kids to have siblings. It was lonely being an only child." Draco admits to her. _

"_Were your parents around when you were young?" Alyssa asked, intertwining her hand with his. Draco sighs. _

"_Not really. Dad spent a lot of time at the Ministry. I'm not really sure what he was doing because he wasn't really employed. Mum was here a bit more, but she was busy with other things." Draco answers, lifting Alyssa's hand and kissing it. Draco's smile had disappeared._

"_Well, you won't have to be alone as an adult. We can have four little you's running around." Alyssa grins at him. _

"_I'd like that" Draco responds. Alyssa smiles at him, once again laying her head on his chest. She yawns loudly. "Tired?" Draco asks. Alyssa nods. "Sleep then. Goodnight." Draco kisses Alyssa on the forehead as she drifts off to sleep. _

"Draco?" Alyssa's voice brings him out of his memory. Draco stands in the middle of the kitchen with his mouth hanging open. "H...how? Are you?" Is all he's able to get out. Alyssa looks up at Draco, worry evident in her grey eyes.

"Maybe we should talk outside." She says standing up and leading Draco outside. Once they are far enough away that they are out of earshot Draco rounds on Alyssa.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He spits out. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me that you were pregnant? You had to have known when you left school! Is that why you left? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" Draco screams at her, shaking with rage, his fingernails biting into his hands. She just stares at him, her whole body shaking, her eyes staring at him with fear. For a split second guilt runs its way through Draco, but his anger wins.

"Are you going to fucking answer me or what?" He snaps.

"I didn't..." She starts, voice quiet. Alyssa starts to rub her hands together, something she only did when she was incredibly anxious. Normally he would be worried, but now it just pissed him off more. Draco gestures wildly, to let her know that she should start explaining. He turns his back on her, arms crossed.

"I didn't..I wasn't sure what to tell you. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure that you would come to our side." She tells him quietly, suddenly more interested in her fingernails than in looking Draco in the eyes. He just stares at her. What could he say to that? Still feeling angry he lashes back with,

"So you thought it better to just leave, and what? Take care of OUR baby at seventeen years old? You thought it better to let OUR baby be born and raised around these people?" He's started shaking again, the wind howling in his ears. "This is my baby, Alyssa! And my child has a right to be brought up by the right people! You know this!" Draco bellows at her. He shakes his head. "_We _are not like _them._ We are powerful, and strong, and _safe_ from all of this _shit._ We have a ticket to the new world – a world we can rule, Alyssa! Our baby, this baby..." He looks at her, pleadingly. "Our baby is the future of the Pureblood race. And you're willing to risk that for some blood traitors and mudbloods? You thought it would be a good idea to raise our baby around the scum of the fucking earth?"

It's as if a dam has burst."I would rather _my_ baby be raised around _anyone _as long as it isn't you!" Alyssa bursts

There is a long moment of silence as her words sink in. "I didn't want to –" Alyssa begins, voice wavering. "I didn't mean –"

"I know what you meant," Draco cuts her off bitterly. He turns from her, unable to look at her face, and kicks a nearby garden gnome several feet into the air. He tries to focus on the Burrow in the distance, but his eyes are watering so much that the world has turned into an impressionist painting – blobs of color that he could never be part of.

"So," He says finally, still turned away. "Why?"

"Why?" She asks, so softly for a moment Draco thinks he may have imagined it.

"Yes, WHY?" He whirls on her, face growing red, steam rolling from his ears. "WHY AM I HERE? WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE IF YOU DON'T EVEN WANT ME IN OUR CHILD'S LIFE?"

"I was hoping that you had changed." Alyssa whispers. "I was hoping that you would realize that being a Death Eater wasn't important..." She pauses, searching his face for something, eyes yearning. Draco feels his heart rise into his throat, hoping that she'll see what she's looking for so desperately – but after a moment she averts her gaze, and he feels his body slump. "I was hoping that this – that our family was more important."

He laughs humorously. "And here I was hoping that you'd realize the same damn thing." Draco's hands close into fists and he shakes his head. "This is a fucking disaster, Alyssa. I hope you know that." Draco doesn't give her time to respond before he turns back to the house. "I'm leaving."

Alyssa's hand closes on his wrist. "Draco please, please just give it a chance. Give our family a chance."

There's a part of him that wants to look at her – to cup her chin in his hands and to get lost in her eyes one last time.

Instead, he sets his face in a hard line and jerks away.

"When you come to your senses, you know where to find me. My family and I would be honored to have you." With that Draco summons his trunk and apparates, leaving Alyssa and that filthy house behind.


End file.
